Soulmates and Ghosting
In January 2018 a research article entitled, “Ghosting and Destiny” was published indicating that those people who believe in the concept of a soulmate where more likely to endorse ghosting as a means of ending a relationship. Conventional dating advice often warns against the idea of believing in soulmates as many people have come to believe that this represents a lack of growth in an otherwise healthy relationship.
The problem is not with the concept of a soulmate. On the contrary, it is the way our culture has come to understand what a soulmate is. Due to our Disney loving, Cinderellaesq culture, we believe that a soulmate is our ‘perfect half” or the person that will make us happy “forever.” We believe in “happily ever after” without recognizing the pain of growth every relationship must go through.
Soulmates are Real but Not in the Way you Believe
Those people who have found their soulmate know that this fantasy is simply a fantasy. A soulmate is often a relationship that appears when you are ready to grow. it is one that will challenge you, make things difficult and ultimately help you face some harsh realities about your own personal growth. A soulmate may also not be forever. Many of us have soulmates that show up to bring children into the world or to teach us an important life lesson. We have many potential soulmates not just one in the course of a lifetime. In this way, many people confuse a soulmate for the concept of a twin flame – the person who is truly our other half. Yet, to meet your twin flame, you need to do your personal growth work and often clear some serious karmic issues.
Few people are capable of rising to the level of being ready for a twin flame in this lifetime but many people are capable of meeting a soulmate. Yet, if you believe that it is okay to ghost someone who is not your soulmate, you may find yourself in relationships that end prematurely or with the wrong people. Ghosting is not acceptable past a third date (in my opinion). Everyone you meet is an opportunity for connection or growth. Sometimes you need to look past your own ego to realize the story or the lesson that is trying to present itself.
Outcome of Ghosting
I have personally run into people who have ghosted me – often years later and it is awkward. It always leads to an apology and an explanation. While ghosting is not something to take personally, it is a sign of emotional immaturity and someone, who even if they are a soulmate, is not ready for the responsibilities of a soulmate relationship.
I’ve recently met one of these people. There is no doubt in my mind that we have known each other in a previous life. The connection was easy and comfortable. Yet, within the first few dates, I realized that he is working through his own issues and avoiding his personal growth work (my intuitive readings consistently confirmed that this “fated relationship” was not going anywhere because of his unwillingness to do his karmic work) . While it can be hard to understand why a soulmate would appear who is not ready, you have to see it as the opportunity it is: To speak your truth and trust that you deserve better. When he disappeared, I gently confronted the situation and his response confirmed what my intuition told me: He is suffering and not capable of giving me what I need emotionally. My job was not to get upset or angry. On the contrary, it was simply to acknowledge that a romantic relationship couldn’t be. It was a reminder to walk away rather than give my heart (as many empaths do) to someone who needs healing. I wished him well, sent him kindness and thanked the Universe for the opportunity to be reminded of how hard I have been working to take care of myself. Soulmates appear all the time, you just have to listen to the signs. Sometimes they simply show up as a reminder of how amazing you really are.
Soulmates Are Special
Soulmates are some of our greatest teachers. Be ready to receive the lessons and honor whatever that connection may look like. They are special in their ability to make us feel safe, to make us feel heard and for the often immediate comfort we feel in their presence. That does not mean that it is a romantic relationship that is supposed to happen in this life. You have free will and the Universe expects you to use it accordingly.
Dr. Jennifer Rhodes
Licensed Psychologist and Founder of Rapport Relationships
Dr. Jennifer Rhodes is a relationship expert and licensed psychologist. She provides dating strategy, consultation, and date coaching services to clients all over the world. Dr. Rhodes is a frequently sought media expert on the topics of seduction, sensuality, dating, divorce, and relationships. In addition to Rapport Relationships, Dr. Rhodes is the founder of Visual Arts Reimagined (VAR) where she provides services to visual artists interested in entrepreneurship and leadership.